Reflection by a Friend

This was a reflection posted on an e-list over a year ago by a very dear friend. I think it is “old” enough from an electronic point of view to publish here. Besides, she gave permission for it to be posted on various lists and other places.

This morning as I was up on the hill behind the house investigating why my chickens were making such a racket (a squirrel had gotten into their feeding station); when I was aware of a brief, warm, whif of privet blossoms and honeysuckle–the first of this year. Immediately I was awash with relief and a sudden relaxation. After the turmoils of the past year and half, after the hard winter and the late freeze that killed back many plants and this year’s crops, I felt the promise of Spring. I thought to myself that finally, Spring really is here–the new growth and promise of the future. After the late freeze kill-off, I had reconciled myself to a barren Summer and harvest this year, and I had slipped into a brownness of mind that I didn’t know was there; but this brief whif of sweetness told me that the promise is still there. It’s in the wild plum tree laden with unexpected fruit that we found that we didn’t know was there. It’s in the summer flowers still to bloom. It’s in the Japanese Persimmons that will fruit later this Summer. It’s in the killed-back fig tree that is never the less struggling to put out new growth, hoping for fruit maybe in a couple more years. It’s in the lone surviving calomondin fruit left on the tree, and the tiny new blossoms on the trifoliate orange trees. It’s in the tiny, green buds that may become strawberries if they weren’t blighted to much from the frost. It’s in the new coming fruit of the wild blackberries, some still blooming even as late as it is.

I remembered my mother always saying, “We can’t have flowers without rain,” and my grandmother saying, “After the winter, Spring comes.” I think I know more of what they were trying to say to me now. I’ve lived in large cities most of my life, so I have a “big city” mentality, even though I’ve lived here in the woods for the past ten years. In the big city, we know hurry, and deadlines, and cement, and air pollution. We seldom, if ever, notice the change of seasons, except to know when to get out our coats and sweaters and when to put them away. That’s all the seasonal change meant to me as a city dweller. Here, I am given the gift of a quiet, sweet, constant reminder that God is in charge; and He will take care of everything.

All I can say is, “Many Thanks to you, SB!!”

New First Hierarch of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia

The last e-mail I opened last night before toddling off to bed was from our Church - and my heart just sang! Archbishop Hilarion has been elected the First Hierarch of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia.

If you check back a few (well, more than a few) posts, you will find the one about our prior First Hierarch, Metropolitan Laurus, dying. Now, after weeks of mourning, and the brightness of Pascha, we have a new First Hierarch. And it is someone the Ol Curmudgeon and I have met and not only feel that we know but whom we love. I will NEVER forget when we made the decision to move into the ROCOR, and then-Bishop Hilarion came to Atlanta to receive our parish. He sat in the living room of our then-priest and stated, “You must not fear. You are now in the bosom of the Church Abroad, and you will be cared for as a child of God must be.” I burst into tears, for after months of strife and dissension, and after several years of feeling that things were “not right” and praying about it over and over, we felt we were at home. Bishop Hilarion was shortly elevated to Archbishop and was transferred to the Diocese of Australia and New Zealand. We have missed him terribly, although Bishop Gabriel has been wonderful to us - as a diocese and as a parish, and as individuals. But we have missed Archbishop Hilarion.

We still feel at home. And we feel even more at home, if that is possible, with now-Archbishop Hilarion to be our First Hierarch. So after next Sunday he will be Metropolitan Hilarion.

Axios! Axios! Axios!

He is worthy! He is worthy! He is worthy!

Mother’s Day - Matriarch’s Day

I’m always sad on Mother’s Day - because I miss my Mother. I remember on one of the Feasts of the Theotokos, I believe it was the Annunciation, Fr. John was giving his Homily and was talking about how the Theotokos, as the Mother of Christ, was the epitome of Mothers. It was about 3 or 4 years ager my mother died, but all of a sudden my heart broke and I began to weep uncontrollably in the Ol’ Curmudgeon’s arms.

After the service, Fr. John was nearly distraught over my reaction, but I explained that it was just a delayed reaction to my mother’s death.

And every year on Mother’s Day, I find myself feeling deeply sad as I think about my Momma. I miss her. And I miss my little Gam, too. My Momma’s Momma. I don’t think that I want to creep back to being a child and being taken care of by them once more. I just miss them. I used to talk to them about things. Just things. Nothing earth-shattering. But I miss those talks.

I miss my mothers-in-law, too. My first husband’s mother was an imposing-looking woman who was one of the most loving people in the world. She was brusque and unable to accept physical affection. But she was extremely intelligent, she cared about those around her, and even after her son and I divorced, she remained a good friend. She kept track of the children and me - not just because of the children, but because she cared about me, too. When her son remarried, she came to Atlanta for the weekend for his wedding. And she stayed with me! The children were staying with their father - but certainly room could have been developed for her. Yet, she stayed with her EX-daughter-in-law. She went out with me. the Ol’ Curmudgeon and the Ol’ Curmudgeon’s mother for drinks and dinner a couple of times. We sat up late each night and talked about all kinds of things - and really enjoyed the conversations. Politics, educational philosophy, library methodology and philosophical pinnings, the meanings of upcoming computerization - all that and more. Since the Ol’ Curmudgeon’s mother was an academic, our evenings with her were riotous with academic in-jokes. All of us were splitting our sides laughing. And I miss that - laughing across the generations over academic in-jokes.

The Ol’ Curmudgeon’s mother - Ah, how she substituted for Momma after she died! MIL held my hand and made Bloody Marys as necessary while we talked about Momma. I was teaching at Clemson when my MIL died. That’s a story for another day, but it was equally unexpected and heartbreaking. After 22 years, the Ol’ Curmudgeon seems to be becoming able to talk about it and her. He didn’t speak for a full year afterward except to say things like, “pass the salt.” Just buried himself in books - reading 40 - 50 a week (yes, I wrote that right and you read it right). I’m afraid I wasn’t in much better emotional shape. Two of the children had left home right after that (finished HS and went into the Army) and only the younger one was living at home that year. So I did a lot of reading and research - quietly. The younger son and I spent quiet evenings with each other in Clemson during the week, and the Ol’ Curmudgeon worked in Atlanta. We were together on the weekends - quietly. We each deal with the acute throes of grief in our own way. And they last differing lengths of time.

It was about 10 years later when my Ex-MIL died. Gradually the ties with the older generation were being cut. But still, 20 years later, I missed my little Momma and Gam. And each death, each loss, left me with a deeper wound in my heart. Oh, it would heal over, sort of, as all wounds do, but I would be left with a larger scar. And so would the Ol’ Curmudgeon’s heart as his losses piled up.

Now, 35 years after my little Gam’s death, 30 years after my Momma’s death, 20 years after The Ol’ Curmudgeon’s mother died, and 9 years after my Ex-Mother-in-Law’s death, Mother’s Day makes me a bit sad. Now I’m the “Matriarch” of the family. And I’m the one with all the memories of the family. That is a vast responsibility. And I miss all the “Matriarchs” who went before me - those I knew and loved, and those I only heard about, and those I never knew.

Happy Mother’s Day - to all the other Matriarch’s out there!

How Stuff Works

I love finding out the inner working of “things.” Anything - everything. I’m just naturally inquisitive. Call it “nosy.” I won’t be offended. I’m convinced that knowing more will save me time, effort and, maybe, save the lives of those around me.

Given that background, it is no wonder I was considered a “professional student,” and that my advisor gave me a cartoon (gotta find it, scan it and post it here!) showing a student sitting in a professor’s office with the professor saying, “You HAVE to graduate. We don’t grant tenure to students.” That was a real belly laugh for both of us, and got me off my tookus to finish my dissertation.

It’s no wonder I surf the net for information - not for just “doodly-squat,” but real information. Here’s one of my fun (can you hear my daughter rolling her eyes?) websites:

How Stuff Works - Learn how Everything Works!

It has a little of everything from “Animals” to “Travel.” At this point, I’m particularly interested in “How many words do dogs understand?” Not surprising because I’m trying to be prepared for getting a mobility service dog sometime in the next couple of years.

Now, none of the articles are particularly in depth, but they give me a beginning, and usually a number of additional links to find more in-depth information.

Since I work as a Legal Nurse Consultant, I am constantly surfing the internet, researching diseases, anatomy, medications, medication effects, surgery procedures and complications. The things you can find on the internet are amazing!

So, I am nosy, and I’m interested in how stuff works! I remember when I was a kid, my grandmother kept a dictionary and an almanac beside her chair. When a radio or TV newscaster said a word she questioned either the meaning or pronunciation of, she would reach for the dictionary. If they were talking about something new to her, she reached for the almanac. Pretty minimal considering our current resources, but she was “nosy,” too! She was nosy right up to the day she was taking out of her house and put in the nursing home with Momma. They shared a room, but she didn’t have her beloved dictionary and almanac. She sickened and died within a year! Now, I’m not saying she would have lived if she had not had her favorite books taken away from her, but these were the way she kept her mind active. Maybe, just maybe, her mind would have stayed active if we had thought to keep her two favorite books by her.  And maybe she would have been happier.

How stuff works - you can take my laptop and internet connection from me by prying them from my cold dead hands!! That is how I keep my mind active!! Finding out How Stuff Works!

Christ is Risen - Russian Orthodox Song

Not as joyous and beauteous as the Serbian one below, but still just lovely -

I particularly am interested in the Icon of the “double” Resurrection. I’ve never seen one like it before, and I’d love to know more about it. Wish the pictures in the slideshow were less blurry and more in focus. But it is still a lovely, lovely video!

Christ is Risen! Beauty and Joy Collide!

This has to be one of the most joyous and beautiful Paschal folk-songs I’ve ever encountered!! Turn on your sound, sit back and enjoy!!

The words and music were written by St. Nikolai Velirimovic

Easter song performed by musical orchestra ”Stupovi” and various Serbian singers and celebrities, dedicated to the resurrection of Christ, made as a part of an action of raising funds for reconstruction of medieval Serbian orthodox monastery ”Pillars of Saint George”

Ljudi likujte, narodi čujte:
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Zvezde igrajte, gore pevajte,
Hristos voskrese, radost donese!
Šume šumite, vetri brujite,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Mora gudite, zveri ričite,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Pčele se rojte, a ptice pojte
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!

Anđeli stojte, pesmu utrojte,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Nebo se snizi, zemlju uzvisi,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Zvona zvonite, svima javite,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Slava ti Bože, sve ti se može,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Anđeli stojte, pesmu utrojte,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Nebo se snizi, zemlju uzvisi,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Zvona zvonite, svima javite,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!
Slava ti Bože, sve ti se može,
Hristos voskrse, radost donese!

Sv. Vladika Nikolaj

People rejoice, all nations listen:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!
Dance all ye stars and sing all ye mountains:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!

Whisper ye woods and blow all ye winds:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!
O seas proclaim and roar all ye beasts:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!

Buzz all ye bees and sing all ye birds:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!
O little lambs rejoice and be merry:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!

Nightengales joyous, lending your song:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!
Ring, O ye bells, let everyone hear:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!

All angels join us, singing this song:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!
Come down ye heavens, draw near the earth:
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!

Glory to Thee, God Almighty!
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!
Glory to Thee, God Almighty!
Christ God is risen! Let us rejoice!

Christos Voskrese! (Christ is Risen!)
Voistinu Voskrese! (Indeed, He is Risen!)

I first saw this posted on Handmaiden Leah’s blog, Christ is in Our Midst!, and I commend her blog to you highly. I admit, I posted it after seeing and hearing it on her blog. Many of my readers don’t read her blog.

A Disappointing Bright Week -

I was hopefully looking forward to at least attending one of the Liturgies of Bright Week. Any weekday Liturgies are a little shorter (and less populated) than Sunday liturgies. During Bright Week, the Beautiful Doors remain open, the Deacon Doors remain open, the Curtains are open, all the lights are on, At the end of the Liturgy, the is a procession with banners, around the Church, stopping at each of the four corners to read the Gospel - to proclaim the Gospel to each of the 4 Corners of the Earth. While I would not be able to take part in the procession, the Liturgy would be marvelous - such a balm, such a medicine to my soul!

But am unable to go. On Tuesday I developed shingles on the right side of my waist toward my back, and I cannot put my back braces on. I can’t even wear anything with a waistband. I can hardly sit in my chair or lie in bed. Shingles hurts! And it itches, but I don’t dare scratch! If I touch the area, it hurts, aches, and burns and prickles (actually, prickles is too trivial a word for the sensation, but I don’t know what other one to use) - and the sensations persevere for several minutes after any touch. Continuous touch doesn’t mean the sensations decrease - rather, the discomfort (discomfort? AGONY!) increases the entire time the area is being touched by anything. Spraying the area with Benzocaine or similar products doesn’t help. I’ve had this before, and it just has to “run it’s course.”

Yes - I’m taking an antiviral medication. Yes - I started it early. But it still has to run it’s course. 10 days to 2 weeks. No, I’m not “contagious.”

So Bright Week is being spent as Great Lent was spent - and Holy Week was spent and Pascha was spent - watching bits and pieces of Liturgies on Youtube, and listening to CDs. Searching the internet for [octires pf Icons and the interiors of Churches.

From time to time I have a “pity party,” but most of the time I am grateful - I am blessed that I live in an age when the technology is here to allow me - and others - who are shut-ins to at least have bits and pieces of the Feasts and Fasts of the Church. I have to say, however, that I wish one - or more - of the Russian Churches would have a live streaming video of their services on the Web and maintain an archive for a few weeks for those who can’t “be there” live. There is a real need for this kind of outreach ministry. It wouldn’t be the same as “being there,” of course, but it would be even better than CDs. (Not that CDs are not needed!)

To say that I’m disappointed is an understatement. Crushed is more like it. But God is Good, and I’ll get over my paltry emotional reaction. And I will try to remember the words of the Akathist Hymn - Glory to God for All Things:

Ikos I

Into the world I was born as a weak, helpless child, but Thy Angel spread wings of light over me, guarding my crib. Ever since then Thy love lights all my paths, wonderfully guiding me towards the light of eternity. Gloriously, the generous gifts of Thy Providence have been manifest from the very first day. I am thankful to Thee and with all who have come to know Thee, call out:

Glory to Thee, Who called me to life,
Glory to Thee, Who hast shown me the beauty of the universe,
Glory to Thee, Who hast opened before me the sky and the earth as an eternal book of wisdom,
Glory to the eternity of Thee, in the midst of the world of time,
Glory to Thee, for Thy hidden and evident goodness,
Glory to Thee, for every sigh of my sadness,
Glory to Thee, for every step of my life, for every moment of joy,
Glory to Thee, O God, unto the ages of ages.

I am blessed - blessed beyond my understanding. I simply MUST learn to recognize my blessings in all my days and all my hours and all my minutes.

Bright Week

The week following Pascha the altar doors remain open, fasting is not permitted and the Greek Orthodox remain standing at services until Pentecost. The week is termed Renewal (Greek) or Bright Week (Russian) by the Church. The week concludes with a special canon of the Theotokos, the Life-giving Fountain and Liturgy. It is a tradition to conduct the Paschal Liturgy every day during the Week of Renewal. In addition, “Christ is Risen” is sung at the beginning and end of every service until forty days after Pascha on the Feast of Ascension. Fish is allowed on Wednesdays and Fridays until Pentecost. All of these traditions point to the fact that Christ is Risen. He is present in our midst in a special way and awaits our response to His Call.

Following Pascha, it is important the watchfulness that has been developed is not put aside. Less time is spent in worship (although May has 11 services) and the ability to eat freely is a temptation to loose self-control. The good habits and virtues that have begun to grow during Lent must be harvested as serving Christ in new ways. In this state of openness to Christ and His message, now is the time to develop ministries, create new opportunities for service, and to go wherever Christ calls.

From: Harvesting the Fruit of Pascha: Fr. Andrew J. Barakos; OrthodoxyToday.org

Hymn to Christ on Easter Day - St. Gregory Nazianzen

HYMN TO CHRIST ON EASTER DAY
(AFTER LONG SILENCE),

Cristi anax, se prvton, epei logon heri dvka,
dhnaion katecwn, fqegxom apo stomatwn,
(Dactylic hexameter, and pentameter.)

O Christ the King! since breath pent up so long
I have outpoured, Thou first shalt be my song;
May this my word, the current of my mind,
If lawful thus to speak, acceptance find,
And unto Thee as holy incense rise
Of holiest priest, a grateful sacrifice!
The Father’s Brightness, Word of the Great Mind,
Who cannot be by power of speech defined,
High Light of highest Light, the Only Son,
Image and Seal of the Immortal One,
Without beginning; from same Fount of Light
With the Great Spirit; infinite in might:
All-glorious Thou, and Author of all good:
From age to age Thy truth hath firmly stood.
Enthroned Thou reignest high in heaven above,
Almighty Breath of Mind and Lord of Love.
Throughout this framed universe Divine
Whatever is, or shall be, all is Thine:
Thou madest all, to all Thou givest life,
And all Thou guidest: nowhere fault or strife,
Nor error in Thy workmanship is found:
The whole in willing chain to Thee is bound.
Thou laid’st the world’s foundation: and Thy nod
All things obey, and own their Sovereign God.
For Thee the lofty sun, the king of day,
Quenching the stars, holds on his fiery way.
For Thee, for so Thou bidst, the eye of night,
The moon, waxes and wanes, full orb of light.
For Thee the belt of heaven, all-dancing ring,
And seasons kindly mingling, laugh and sing.
For Thee the fixed stars and planets shine
In course, and speak Thy wisdom all divine.
Thy light they are, the heavenly minds that be,
All sing on high the glorious Trinity.
Man is Thy glory too, angel below,
Here placed to sing, O Light, Thy beauteous glow.
Immortal, fleshless, glory’s highest ray,
Who mortal flesh yet took’st, man’s woes to stay,
For Thee I live, for Thee my songs arise,
For Thee I am a breathing sacrifice;
For this, of all things once possessed by me,
Alone remains, and this I give to Thee.

I tie my tongue, and loose it at Thy will;
In either, what Thou wouldst may I fulfil,
Speak what is right, nor think aught else beside:
From mire select the pearl, with Thee my Guide;
Gold from the sand, the rose from thorny brake,
From straw-encumbered ears the pure grain take.
To Thee, O Christ, this wreath of uttered praise,
As firstfruits of my loving toil, I raise.

For from the dead, with whom He mingled lay,
Great Christ arose, upon this gladsome day;
Gates of grim Hades He did open fling;
And broke death’s power, and robbed him of his sting;
Rushed from the tomb, appeared to speaking men,
For whom, once born, He died and rose again;
That we new-born might rise, from death set free,
And ever live, ascending Lord, with Thee.
This day glad Heaven with acclamation rings,
And choir angelic crowning anthem sings.
This day my closed lips I loose in song
To Thee, to whom my lute and breath belong.

Of mind to Mind, of word to the true Word,
I here have offered what I could afford:
Hereafter, if He will, I hope to bring
To the Great Spirit worthier offering.

Christ is Risen!!

Indeed, He is Risen!!

Today is Pascha! Eastern Orthodox Easter!!

I’m so embedded in Orthodoxy now, that I was rather shocked when i turned on the TV this morning to FOX News, and no one said Christ is Risen!

How can the world not know that Christ is Risen?!

How can we not know that Christ is Risen?!

To you, my friends - Christ is Risen!! Indeed, He is Risen!!