Magnus the Magnifi-cat is very interesting. He silently pads around the house – except when I haven’t clipped his pack toenails and he “clicks” on the wood floors – rather amusing, actually. He thinks he is invisible – as most cats do – and to all intents and purposes he is in the dark of night. But not when he is lying in the middle of the beige rug at noon with the sunlight shining on his fur! Yet, he is so surprised when I “ask” him to move out of my way – as if I shouldn’t even exist, much less need to walk over him.
Well, this 18 pound, 13 year old black cat likes to get up in my Laz-E-Boy with me. He drapes himself across the top of the chair, then gradually “oozes” his way down onto the left arm. Then he “leans” his way into the gap between me and the arm. If I don’t want him there, and try to push im away with my arm, he suddenly becomes a “40 pound giant!” Just becomes a “rock” that is immovable!
I was having my nightly high-protein snack the other night, in this case, cheese and crackers. Magnus LOVES cheddar cheese. He is NOT allowed to have any, however, because he is on a very strict diet – he has FLUTD (Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease) – and a very few bites of the wrong foods can change the pH (acidity level) of his urine and lead to an infection, stones or kidney blockage and death! I’ve seen what happens when he blocks, and it ISN”T pretty, so I watch him almost as much like a hawk as I watch the Ool’ Curmudgeon. “No cheese for the Magnatronic! The Magnatronic shall have no cheese!”
He knows he isn’t to have any – not a crumb. So as I was eating my cheese and crackers, and Magnus oozed his way down onto the arm of the chair and began his oozing into the crack of the chair routine – all the time with his eyes focused on my cheese. Each time I lifted a bit of cheese into my my mouth he leaned forward just a little a opened his mouth just a little. Then he would look at me as if to say, “I can’t believe you didn’t give juusst a little bitty bit to meeee!” We would repeat the whole cycle, with him leaning more heavily against me each time until I felt like I had the weight of the world on my arm!
I tried to shrug him off, and he didn’t move – like a rock – no, like a boulder! I’m not proud – I absolutely gobbled – no I BOGGLED my cheese and crackers at that point instead of savoring them, enjoying them. And carefully cleaned up every – single – little – microscopic – crumb – of cheese. Or of the crackers – but I wasn’t quite as careful because Magnus isn’t as interested in crackers. But he’ll lick my skin raw if cheese has been on it!
Then I tried to get him to get up so I could get up. Nope. He was solidly cemented into place. I had to get the Ol’ Curmudgeon to get up, come over to the chair, and lift him up and out of the chair. Magnus was NOT happy about it. He ignored me for about 1/2 hour – his way of punishing me. I don’t know how he does that “heaver than the Rock of Gibralter” routine, but he has it down pat! Now how can he weigh that much and
walk so softly?